mcmanusmom

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Name

Heather McManus

Birth

06 Jul 1973

Gender

Female

Location

Lucia, Gaston, North Carolina (US)

2 photos

mcmanusmom › New article
7 years ago

For several years we watched our son give in to his struggles with addiction. To deal with all my emotions, I wrote. Most of it ended up somewhat like poetry. Some was full of anger, some full of fear, all were true emotions of a Mother who felt she had lost it all. This is one of the first ones I... Read more

7 years

Alex › It's beautiful @mcmanusmom. I can see you're a super powerful mum ?????? well done. It's really beautiful. Congrats and all the best ??

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Alex thank you. It's amazing how tough you can be when it's the only choice you have ?

7 years

Deepizzaguy › Great image on this site.

7 years

Alex › I'm struggling with my big boy who is hyperactive with ADHD @mcmanusmom ?? Nothing compare to that and it's very hard everyday. I try my best to not stress but not easy to deal with him. Always moaning, answering me back, always aggressive and shouting ??? oh dear...

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Alex oh no! I completely understand your struggle. Our twins have ADHD. Just hang in there. I was soooo worried about them when they were young. I really didn't see how they could become productive members of society (seriously, it was horrific) They are 23 today and awesome young men. One is a firefighter and the other does HVAV work and also works on his Grandaddy's farm. Once you get through the teen years it becomes easier to manage. Good luck, I know you guys will make it ?

7 years

Alex › Thank you my dear @mcmanusmom ??? good to hear it. He's going to college in September so the worries are going to start loool. He's so clever, I hope he'll calm down. The moving from UK to Portugal wasn't easy for him and having and young brother either... loool
I need to be more patient ???

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Alex college helped Zach a lot. He is so focused on firefighting. My Dad and brother are fireman too so that gives him something to focus on. Finding something he loves is important. Keeping his hands busy keeps his mind busy then his mouth isn't as busy bahahahahahhaaa

7 years

Alex › Yes @mcmanusmom I really hope so... he kills my patience everyday ??? talks too much as well... like mummy ??? no..... worse than me ??

7 years

mcmanusmom › My hardest things was that they always had to have the last word. Oh my mercy! @Alex There were days I wondered who would make it, me or them lol

7 years

Smokey2017 › This is beautful

7 years

Alex › Same here @mcmanusmom ?? we're always arguing together. He always wants to have the last word and it drives me mad.. He's only 9... my goodness ???

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you @Smokey2017
Some of it is far from beautiful lol
But it's real....

7 years

mcmanusmom › 8-16 were BAD for us. After that it seemed to level out @Alex

7 years

Alex › Oh God @mcmanusmom I'll have to struggle another few years ??? I don't see any improvement since he's in a psicologist. Only the future will tell me. God help me ???

7 years

mcmanusmom › Each child is different @Alex maybe you guys will have it better and he will level off soon.

7 years

soncee › Beautiful artikle

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you so much @soncee

7 years

fortune › I wish you all the best

7 years

mcmanusmom › thank you @fortune it has been a long road, but the sun is shining ?

7 years

RalRey › These lines, or verses, are a kind of psalm in four times, because they contain, first of all, the drama, the pain of a desperate mother, anguished by her captive son of evil:
Verses 1-2

But in the midst of confusion, of grief, of despair, drama does not own everything, there is a light on the road:
Verses 3-8

And that little light grows and becomes faith, hope, trust in God who can do everything, the mighty God to restore life, and throws all his anxiety on him, that God cares for those who come to him, and especially of your children:
Verses 9-12

And finally a certain calm waiting for the times of God, but not inactive resignation:
verses 13-16

I like these verses that denote a certain knowledge of the Word:
"I know that God will pick it up
If I just lay it down"

In the Bible, Psalms 27:10 reads:
When my father and my mother are turned away from me, then the Lord will be my support.

7 years

Alex › Thankd my dear for the kind words @mcmanusmom ??????

7 years

Deliana › Beautiful and impressive poetry! Thank you for sharing, my dear Heather! May god bless you & your family! ???

7 years

mcmanusmom › @RalRey Those beautiful verses ? Some of the ones you quoted were the very ones that kept me going. Psalms 27:10 WOW That's the one that told me what I was doing was right and that although he didn't have us, he had God. ??

7 years

mcmanusmom › I hope your day is going well sweet @Alex

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Deliana thank you so much ? May God bless you as well

7 years

carmen3521 › cool..

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you @carmen3521

7 years

RasmaSandra › Wonderful verse

7 years

mcmanusmom › @RasmaSandra thank you so much. I have never shared them before now. They are very private and personal. Some are full of hate and disgust because of what we were going through. Until I published this, only my sister in law had read my thoughts

7 years

5 years

Strabunica013 › I wish you all the best ! ?

5 years

mcmanusmom › New article
7 years ago

Addiction. That word. That feeling. That pain. That killer of families, the knowing you, as a parent, can't make go away. 
About 4 years ago we noticed our youngest son (you'll hear me refer to him as, our baby boy) was changing. We talked to him and each other as a family.  We watched, we listened we painfully waited as we watched our world begin to change. The rumors began to swirl. The signs were all there. The anger, the pain, the change, our baby boy was beginning to change into someone we didn't recognize. 
When you love unconditionally, as we do, this is HARD. HOW DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS KILLING HIMSELF SLOWLY AND EXPECTING YOU TO SIT AND WATCH?!?!?!? You don't. We couldn't. Having a younger child in the home put it into perspective for us. 
When all this began, Dillon, our baby boy, was 18. Kalie, our daughter, was 11 and she looked up to him, idolized him even. We have been very very blessed with aweosme and extremely respectful children. When Dillon began cussing and screaming at me, when he was in withdrawals, I knew it was getting to Kalie. 
We had to tell him it was not working. His addiction was tearing our family apart. We set up a rehab place for him as a laat resort. He was livid. Refused to admit he was using. He left our home that day with all hw could fit in 3 bookbags. He walked. He would text from time to time and was always mean and accusing us of not loving him. 
We all had a rough time for the next two years. He was staying where ever and with who ever. That road led him to use meth. Wow! There was no denying that. One of his brothers is a fireman. After a training on how to use Narcan he explained to us that he would never use it on his brother, that it was just prolonging his, and everyone else's suffering. He told Dillon. That got him. He knew that there was no denying any more. 
Let's fast forward another year. My sweet sweet baby boy admitted he had an addiction problem and asked for help! He had it rough. The withdrawals almost killed him. When he started his recovery his face and arms were covered in sores. We let him move home right before Christmas. He had a job and his own place in 5 months! I am so so proud. 
The picture of us was taken last week. He had the day off and stopped by to surprise us. HIS FACE! HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE! 
Seeing him look better than he did in 4 years made my heart so so happy. GOD IS SO SO GOOD! See, we couldn't help our baby boy. There was absolutely nothing we could do. BUT GOD! God has the power to do it all. I have Dillon to God. God and Dillon together were a force to be reckoned with. ?

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7 years

indexer › A distressing story that fortunately has not ended as I feared it might. This must have been very painful for you to write as well as to experience the events it describes.

7 years

soncee › Sweet artikle

7 years

mcmanusmom › @indexer ? I too was afraid our story would end different. He was very suicidal for about a year. I had honestly came to terms that I would most likely be burying my baby boy. We didn't speak much for about a year. There were times I wanted to see if he was hungry or needed to shower. TOUGH LOVE WAS SOOOOO HARD. It was the only way for our family. Knowing your child is somewhere hungry cold or dirty is hard on the heart.
To deal with my pain, I wrote poetry. Some was hard core and mean. Some was full of love and hurt.

7 years

mcmanusmom › @soncee Thank you. We are blessed that it ended this was. So many stories don't.

7 years

maca1 › Lovely story dear great artikle

7 years

mcmanusmom › @maca1 thank you. It's been a long hard road but it's getting better each day

7 years

Mirjana23 › Touching story ❤

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Mirjana23 thank you so much ?

7 years

Mirjana23 › ? @mcmanusmom

7 years

mcmanusmom › ? @Mirjana23

7 years

Deliana › As mother I understand how hard was for you. I am thinking that your baby boy is lucky and blessed, because many young people end up bad. ???

7 years

Violeta › Very interesting story

7 years

DAIANAGABAR › Good article dear

7 years

RalRey › It has fascinated me to read this story to its happy ending, there are already many that have a tragic and lamentable ending. When I started reading, I was afraid to find that end. I would have cried for that, although somehow I was excited and my eyes were raining when I realized that it was not so and I could read in the last paragraph his words of acknowledgment to God when he writes: "There was absolutely nothing we could do. BUT GOD! God has the power to do it all."ALELUJAH! I am glad to know that all is well and that you are a witness of the healing power of YHVH God, but remember that He not only wants to heal diseased and damaged bodies and minds. , but also wants to save what has been lost and that is under the rule of sin and death, the human soul: "For God had such love for the world that he gave his only Son, so that whoever has faith in him may not come to destruction but have eternal life." (John 3:16) And in John 10:10 it says: "The thief comes only to take the sheep and to put them to death: he comes for their destruction: I have come so that they may have life and have it in greater measure." YHVH God continues to bless your life, your family and particularly Dillon's life. Congratulations, Glory to God

7 years

carmen3521 › ???

7 years

mcmanusmom › @Deliana we are all very lucky it turned out this way. We have family members who aren't so fortunate

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you @Violeta

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you so much @DAIANAGABAR

7 years

mcmanusmom › Oh @RalRey I wasn't half way through reading your comment before the tears started to flow. It wasn't until I gave him and the situation to God that I was able to find peace. Oh how I, as Mama Bear, tried to handle it. I beat on drug dealers doors, pulled my son out of a drug house crawl space, had too many confrontations with addicts to count. I was letting it control me as bad as it was him. Once I TOTALLY GAVE IT TO GOD, quit picking it back up) I felt that it was going to be okay. God has plans for us all. I can't wait to see how Dillon's ends up helping people.

7 years

mcmanusmom › ?? @carmen3521

7 years

Alex › Ohhhhhh wooooow @mcmanusmom family power ??? scary too ?

7 years

mcmanusmom › It was very scary @Alex I wasn't sure our family would be the same. ?

7 years

Alex › Is he out of it? Clean???@mcmanusmom

7 years

mcmanusmom › Yes @Alex Thank God, and Dillon lol
He has been working for several months and now has his own place. He has done so well. ??

7 years

Alex › Very good @mcmanusmom Happy to know... I wish him the best and I'm sure he'll have a wonderful future. That phase made him stronger to deal with our stressing life ????

7 years

mcmanusmom › He is absolutely stronger for it @Alex thank you for your kind comments ??

7 years

Alex › You're more than welcome @mcmanusmom ???

7 years

RalRey › @mcmanusmom I have no doubt about the power of God, as I said. I am a witness of that power to change and transform the life of God in Christ Jesus. But along with this power, it was also his unconditional love, his faith, his struggle, his not surrendering to adversity, his cry to God for healing and the liberation of his son, his prayer of faith to God, YHVH God, who as you have declared, everything can. He is omnipotent. All this in you, in a mother, is something great that summons the Power of God.

7 years

mcmanusmom › That was absolutely beautiful @RalRey I can tell we are going to be great friends ??

7 years

RalRey › @mcmanusmom ¡Pues venga! ¡Vale! As the Spaniards say

7 years

bee › @mcmanusmom thank you for being so honest, sharing such a powerful and challenging time you went through with your baby boy. You really are a super mum. For you have been strong and there for him, has made Dillon change his ways and revert back to the baby boy he always was.

7 years

mcmanusmom › @bee I love that so much, you're right. He always was my baby boy, he just lost his way for a while. I feel that sharing our story, open and honestly, may help others see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has lots of tattoos, we are going to have my hand scanned. He wants my handprint on his shoulder, says I always guided him right. That's the best compliment I have ever had ??

7 years

AnceAne › I was in tears while reading it, I feel for you and now I am in happy tears because, after the tough life struggle of Dillon, and you as a mom and the whole family in general, everything is okey and this story has a happy ending. I am really so, so happy for all of you dear

7 years

mcmanusmom › @AnceAne thank you for your kind words. It has been tough, but we made it, more importantly, he made it. I never thought I would have to use tough love, not THAT tough anyway. Going through all this changed us all, but change is good. And this is our new norm. Our son, our children's brother is a recovering addict. We all know there will be days he wants to use, we just pray and have faith that he won't give in and that his love is stronger than the call of the addition

7 years

RasmaSandra › A most heart-touching story and so glad it had such an awesome ending. You are right the Lord is ever by our side. Blessings to you and your family.

7 years

mcmanusmom › Thank you @RasmaSandra He kept me strong at a time I had no strength of my own. Kept me going when I felt I couldn't go on. I am so blessed outer story hasn't ended ?

7 years