TOUGH LOVE
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Addiction. That word. That feeling. That pain. That killer of families, the knowing you, as a parent, can't make go away.
About 4 years ago we noticed our youngest son (you'll hear me refer to him as, our baby boy) was changing. We talked to him and each other as a family. We watched, we listened we painfully waited as we watched our world begin to change. The rumors began to swirl. The signs were all there. The anger, the pain, the change, our baby boy was beginning to change into someone we didn't recognize.
When you love unconditionally, as we do, this is HARD. HOW DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS KILLING HIMSELF SLOWLY AND EXPECTING YOU TO SIT AND WATCH?!?!?!? You don't. We couldn't. Having a younger child in the home put it into perspective for us.
When all this began, Dillon, our baby boy, was 18. Kalie, our daughter, was 11 and she looked up to him, idolized him even. We have been very very blessed with aweosme and extremely respectful children. When Dillon began cussing and screaming at me, when he was in withdrawals, I knew it was getting to Kalie.
We had to tell him it was not working. His addiction was tearing our family apart. We set up a rehab place for him as a laat resort. He was livid. Refused to admit he was using. He left our home that day with all hw could fit in 3 bookbags. He walked. He would text from time to time and was always mean and accusing us of not loving him.
We all had a rough time for the next two years. He was staying where ever and with who ever. That road led him to use meth. Wow! There was no denying that. One of his brothers is a fireman. After a training on how to use Narcan he explained to us that he would never use it on his brother, that it was just prolonging his, and everyone else's suffering. He told Dillon. That got him. He knew that there was no denying any more.
Let's fast forward another year. My sweet sweet baby boy admitted he had an addiction problem and asked for help! He had it rough. The withdrawals almost killed him. When he started his recovery his face and arms were covered in sores. We let him move home right before Christmas. He had a job and his own place in 5 months! I am so so proud.
The picture of us was taken last week. He had the day off and stopped by to surprise us. HIS FACE! HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!
Seeing him look better than he did in 4 years made my heart so so happy. GOD IS SO SO GOOD! See, we couldn't help our baby boy. There was absolutely nothing we could do. BUT GOD! God has the power to do it all. I have Dillon to God. God and Dillon together were a force to be reckoned with. ?
About 4 years ago we noticed our youngest son (you'll hear me refer to him as, our baby boy) was changing. We talked to him and each other as a family. We watched, we listened we painfully waited as we watched our world begin to change. The rumors began to swirl. The signs were all there. The anger, the pain, the change, our baby boy was beginning to change into someone we didn't recognize.
When you love unconditionally, as we do, this is HARD. HOW DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS KILLING HIMSELF SLOWLY AND EXPECTING YOU TO SIT AND WATCH?!?!?!? You don't. We couldn't. Having a younger child in the home put it into perspective for us.
When all this began, Dillon, our baby boy, was 18. Kalie, our daughter, was 11 and she looked up to him, idolized him even. We have been very very blessed with aweosme and extremely respectful children. When Dillon began cussing and screaming at me, when he was in withdrawals, I knew it was getting to Kalie.
We had to tell him it was not working. His addiction was tearing our family apart. We set up a rehab place for him as a laat resort. He was livid. Refused to admit he was using. He left our home that day with all hw could fit in 3 bookbags. He walked. He would text from time to time and was always mean and accusing us of not loving him.
We all had a rough time for the next two years. He was staying where ever and with who ever. That road led him to use meth. Wow! There was no denying that. One of his brothers is a fireman. After a training on how to use Narcan he explained to us that he would never use it on his brother, that it was just prolonging his, and everyone else's suffering. He told Dillon. That got him. He knew that there was no denying any more.
Let's fast forward another year. My sweet sweet baby boy admitted he had an addiction problem and asked for help! He had it rough. The withdrawals almost killed him. When he started his recovery his face and arms were covered in sores. We let him move home right before Christmas. He had a job and his own place in 5 months! I am so so proud.
The picture of us was taken last week. He had the day off and stopped by to surprise us. HIS FACE! HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!
Seeing him look better than he did in 4 years made my heart so so happy. GOD IS SO SO GOOD! See, we couldn't help our baby boy. There was absolutely nothing we could do. BUT GOD! God has the power to do it all. I have Dillon to God. God and Dillon together were a force to be reckoned with. ?
indexer › A distressing story that fortunately has not ended as I feared it might. This must have been very painful for you to write as well as to experience the events it describes.
soncee › Sweet artikle
mcmanusmom › @indexer ? I too was afraid our story would end different. He was very suicidal for about a year. I had honestly came to terms that I would most likely be burying my baby boy. We didn't speak much for about a year. There were times I wanted to see if he was hungry or needed to shower. TOUGH LOVE WAS SOOOOO HARD. It was the only way for our family. Knowing your child is somewhere hungry cold or dirty is hard on the heart.
To deal with my pain, I wrote poetry. Some was hard core and mean. Some was full of love and hurt.
To deal with my pain, I wrote poetry. Some was hard core and mean. Some was full of love and hurt.
maca1 › Lovely story dear great artikle
Mirjana23 › Touching story ❤
Deliana › As mother I understand how hard was for you. I am thinking that your baby boy is lucky and blessed, because many young people end up bad. ???
Violeta › Very interesting story
DAIANAGABAR › Good article dear
RalRey › It has fascinated me to read this story to its happy ending, there are already many that have a tragic and lamentable ending. When I started reading, I was afraid to find that end. I would have cried for that, although somehow I was excited and my eyes were raining when I realized that it was not so and I could read in the last paragraph his words of acknowledgment to God when he writes: "There was absolutely nothing we could do. BUT GOD! God has the power to do it all."ALELUJAH! I am glad to know that all is well and that you are a witness of the healing power of YHVH God, but remember that He not only wants to heal diseased and damaged bodies and minds. , but also wants to save what has been lost and that is under the rule of sin and death, the human soul: "For God had such love for the world that he gave his only Son, so that whoever has faith in him may not come to destruction but have eternal life." (John 3:16) And in John 10:10 it says: "The thief comes only to take the sheep and to put them to death: he comes for their destruction: I have come so that they may have life and have it in greater measure." YHVH God continues to bless your life, your family and particularly Dillon's life. Congratulations, Glory to God
carmen3521 › ???
mcmanusmom › @Deliana we are all very lucky it turned out this way. We have family members who aren't so fortunate
mcmanusmom › Oh @RalRey I wasn't half way through reading your comment before the tears started to flow. It wasn't until I gave him and the situation to God that I was able to find peace. Oh how I, as Mama Bear, tried to handle it. I beat on drug dealers doors, pulled my son out of a drug house crawl space, had too many confrontations with addicts to count. I was letting it control me as bad as it was him. Once I TOTALLY GAVE IT TO GOD, quit picking it back up) I felt that it was going to be okay. God has plans for us all. I can't wait to see how Dillon's ends up helping people.
mcmanusmom › Yes @Alex Thank God, and Dillon lol
He has been working for several months and now has his own place. He has done so well. ??
He has been working for several months and now has his own place. He has done so well. ??
Alex › Very good @mcmanusmom Happy to know... I wish him the best and I'm sure he'll have a wonderful future. That phase made him stronger to deal with our stressing life ????
RalRey › @mcmanusmom I have no doubt about the power of God, as I said. I am a witness of that power to change and transform the life of God in Christ Jesus. But along with this power, it was also his unconditional love, his faith, his struggle, his not surrendering to adversity, his cry to God for healing and the liberation of his son, his prayer of faith to God, YHVH God, who as you have declared, everything can. He is omnipotent. All this in you, in a mother, is something great that summons the Power of God.
bee › @mcmanusmom thank you for being so honest, sharing such a powerful and challenging time you went through with your baby boy. You really are a super mum. For you have been strong and there for him, has made Dillon change his ways and revert back to the baby boy he always was.
mcmanusmom › @bee I love that so much, you're right. He always was my baby boy, he just lost his way for a while. I feel that sharing our story, open and honestly, may help others see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has lots of tattoos, we are going to have my hand scanned. He wants my handprint on his shoulder, says I always guided him right. That's the best compliment I have ever had ??
AnceAne › I was in tears while reading it, I feel for you and now I am in happy tears because, after the tough life struggle of Dillon, and you as a mom and the whole family in general, everything is okey and this story has a happy ending. I am really so, so happy for all of you dear
mcmanusmom › @AnceAne thank you for your kind words. It has been tough, but we made it, more importantly, he made it. I never thought I would have to use tough love, not THAT tough anyway. Going through all this changed us all, but change is good. And this is our new norm. Our son, our children's brother is a recovering addict. We all know there will be days he wants to use, we just pray and have faith that he won't give in and that his love is stronger than the call of the addition
RasmaSandra › A most heart-touching story and so glad it had such an awesome ending. You are right the Lord is ever by our side. Blessings to you and your family.
mcmanusmom › Thank you @RasmaSandra He kept me strong at a time I had no strength of my own. Kept me going when I felt I couldn't go on. I am so blessed outer story hasn't ended ?
