By evanmurray
3 years ago

13 things to Avoid if you Want to Raise a Child with a Healthy Mind

Psychotherapist Emmy Moren, author of "13 Things How Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do," tells you what to avoid if you want to raise a psychologically healthy child.

1. Promote the mentality of the victim
Do not make a child a victim if she leaves the game or does not write well in the school test. Failures, failures and injustices are a part of life. Teach your child that even in sad situations you can do positive things.

2. Be a parent with a sense of guilt
If parents have a guilt complex, then children unconsciously read that guilt is something that cannot be endured. In the end, it will be difficult for a child to refuse someone who says, "Be my friend and let me write it off" or "If you love me, you will." Show your children that although you sometimes feel guilty — all good parents feel guilty — guilt does not prevent you from making wise decisions.

3. Make the child the center of the universe
If your life revolves around children, they will grow up thinking that everyone owes them something. Self-focused adults will not go far in life. Direct children to what they can offer to the world, not get from it.

4. Allow fear to influence choices
Putting children in a comfortable bubble will save parents from anxiety, but will teach children that fear should be avoided at all costs. Show by your own example that the best way to overcome fear is to meet it. This is how brave people grow up who are not afraid to step out of their comfort zone.

5. Give children power they are not ready for
If a child decides that the family will eat for dinner or where he will go on vacation, the parents give him power to which he is not ready in terms of development.

When you treat a child as a boss or an adult, you reduce his chances of being a mentally strong person.

Teach your child to obey requests by different means like cartoons or stories or novels and follow rules and do what he or she does not want to do. At the same time, allow children to make simple decisions and maintain a clear family hierarchy.

6. Expect perfection
It's okay to want your kids to be successful. But the pursuit of an ideal can have negative consequences. Tell the children that it is normal to make mistakes. They don't have to be great at everything.

The self-esteem of children who try to be a better version of themselves rather than the best in everything does not depend so much on other people's opinions.

7. Allow children to avoid responsibility
It seems very tempting - to release the child from household chores. We want children to have a carefree childhood. But children who perform duties appropriate to their age are not overworked. They develop the necessary mental endurance for adult life.

8. Protect children from pain
Sadness and anxiety are parts of our lives. And if you allow children to have such an experience, it will help them better cope with it in the future. Support your children in difficult times so that they understand that they will be able to survive life's difficulties.

9. Feel responsible for children's emotions
Gradually teach children to control their own emotions. They need to be able to calm down on their own and not rely on other people to do so.

10. Don't let children make mistakes
Correcting homework, making sure everything is packed for school, and constantly reminding children of responsibilities is not something that will benefit them.

Dealing with the natural consequences of one's own mistakes is the best possible teacher. Let the children make mistakes. This will help them grow strong and wise.

11. To confuse discipline with punishment
Punishment means that children must suffer for their own transgressions. Discipline is about being effective in the future. Teach children self-discipline through personal experience.

12. Look for easy ways to solve the problem to avoid discomfort
Yielding to a child's whims is an easy way right now. But in the future, this may develop unhealthy habits in the child. Teach children that they are strong enough not to give up and keep going even if they don't want to.

13. Lose focus on values
It is very easy to focus on everyday little things and lose the overall picture. Make sure your life priorities match your values. This will teach children to live a full life.