By ScaryGal
2 years ago

I Don't Miss You Dad...

.
Dear ''dad''

I don't miss you. It's been seven months since you walked out that door with no explanation. You just walked out. I waited up the next morning with your coffee in your favourite cup, I waited by the window like every morning expecting you to come home from work...but you never did. I was 19 when you left but my age didn't matter. It still hurt me. You promised me you'd never leave me but you broke that promise.

For the past seven months you haven't done anything with me except Christmas day when I spent an hour with you before you kicked me out and sent me back home. You kept my brothers there with you though. You let them stay longer not me though. You just picked me up and dropped me. I wanna know why. But you won't even speak to me. You won't even look at me if you see me in the street. To me you've died...but you're not even dead.

My biological dad didn't want me and now you don't want me either. When my friends and people at college spoke about their fathers for presentations I just sat there, I didn't know what to say. What explanation to give because you didn't even give me one.

I thought you might have come back until you got engaged to someone four years older than me. I thought maybe just maybe you would walk through that door and make everything okay again. I wouldn't be the only one looking after mum anymore and you would help out...but you didn't.

When mum got sick you didn't have help with college/school money you left me to struggle to find anything to feed your kids with. You left me to look after my sick mother, your wife, while you were off with your ''girlfriend''

I remember on my 20th birthday mum was better, the boys were at school and people on your side of the family sent me cards. But they didn't come into the house, they sent them through the mail even though they live six doors away...I didn't even get a message from you, nothing. I was turning 20 dad and you raised me from when I was six.

You didn't get to meet the two guys that broke my heart in two. You always said if someone broke my heart you'd break their face but you didn't. You didn't even know that when this happened I was depressed and worried about everything.

Your new daughter is lucky. She's going to get to grow up with a dad, not like me, I'm just going to have the thought of you. I never got to message you because you blocked me. I just want to know why dad. Is it because I'm weird? Because I failed school? Why is it just me your singling out? You told me you loved me but if you did you wouldn't have left.

I don't miss you dad, I never will, I'll never need you dad.
2 years
LiaF7 If this is not fiction... my opinion is... he is not your dad. Dad is someone who loves and accepts you. Move on dear, he does not deserve you as a daughter. Just make your life great so one day he will feel how stupid he was rejecting you. Maybe one day your biological father will feel the need to know you and his family too :) Maybe you have a sister or brother of blood on his side too. Life has ups and downs, and one day happiness and peace of mind will come upon you :)
2 years
2 years
ScaryGal This is all too real unfortunately but I've come to realize that myself, my two brothers and our mum are better off without him around and we can cope by ourselves. Thank you for your lovely comment
2 years
2 years
ze2000 I just don't know what to say... I have no advice, I have no opinion. Simply no words... I suppose writing about it helps you and it must be a kind of relief?
2 years
2 years
ScaryGal It does it helps me a lot, it helps me express myself
2 years
2 years
Smokey2017 @scary Gail I want you to listen to another song called hey dad by good Charlotte
I find rhat there are songs that represent exactky how you feel when you are at your lowest
There is one thing I need you to do
Please do not go on anti depressant or anxiety tablets as with help and support from all of us we will get you thorough this bad patch in your life
Especially smokey as she nos exactky what you are going through
Look at
It this way
Once your mum listen to you and you speak from your heart
Abd you get refered to a counsellor and go to therapy sessions these peolke are experts at what they do
It can only go one way and that is up
Please listen to the song thank you by Jamelia
You need to have confidence and stength in yourself to over come this to become a beautful person that you are
You will have a bad opinion and views on men through your past
But there is a prince waiting for you to treat you the way you should be treated and that is with respect
My daughter went through somethng so bad worse in fact but she has found her prince a loveky guy with a kind and loyal heart
So there is someone for everyone
I am here to help you with confidence and stength
2 years
2 years
Smokey2017 @scary Gail you dad not realise that his gf will be getting old too and that she won't be the sane girl he met
I
2 years
116d
Shavkat Sometimes we feel something different to others.
116d