My story, My Struggle: By Nyisha Hv

Okay so for those of who who may be unaware: I have been written about 30 different articles and these have been written predominantly from my phone. And I will continue to do so because it had actually become a sort of hobby for me. But I wanted to write something different this time, something sad, something scary and heart-rending; personal. Throughout my life from the age of 9 to the age of 16 I have been bullied about my weight. When I finished school I felt more of a sense of freedom when I had done well academically: my aim was to do better than those who demeaned me. Ultimately I did. I felt such a sense of achievement and I held myself high in esteem.

After finishing sixth-form college a year later I had entered a very, very abusive toxic relationship. After being brutally beaten and sexually assaulted by another man these caused me to have a fractured eye socket which took a very long time to heal.

I couldn't talk I couldn't eat from the excessive swelling. But worst of all I found out that 3 almost 4 years later I was not eligible for compensation. Because I had minor offences which of course was heart-rending to me. This was regardless of the fact my attacker had a string of 60 convictions. Had spent 12 consecutive years in prison before he had attacked me. It. Is something that I would like to appeal and chase up but I will do it when I feel I have less distraction and am ready to do so. Finally things are looking up for me I am losing weight by the pound though little it all constitutes success in the end.

I am reading more than I have ever read in my life...just went I thought my life was over after years of struggling with major depression anxiety insomnia...my life was turned around by me. Depression was indeed something I thought I could not fight. But then I realised never give up otherwise how will you know what you would have accomplished. After all the nights of tears...the months of waking up with night sweats and palpitations from the post traumatic stress disorder I had been diagnosed with I felt so trapped. The man who had attacked me was still physically in my head; therefore, dictating my emotions and coercing my negative behaviour.

Nevertheless with familial support and my own emotional strength allowed me to move on. Four years later achieve what none of my extended family expected me to achieve: University. I got into university and was so happy to know that God had given me another shot at life -- That I do not intend on wasting. Then I thought back even whilst writing this article and remembered that my mother said to me: if it is to be it up to me. So never mind those who demeaned you or put you down, this is why I am determined to turn the pain into power...