The power of good thinking - Puterea gandului bun

The power of good thinking

In my hometown, Genoa, I was fortunate enough to know a person I can say has positively marked my existence: a woman who ran a highly successful radio program wrote a book that was translated into over 30 of countries, gave dozens of interviews for newspapers, magazines and televisions around the world, managing at the same time to be available to those who needed a word of encouragement, support.
You may have heard of her, especially because a movie about her life was broadcast several months ago on the public television station.
Contrary to likely expectations, it is not a star but Rosanna Benzi, struck in childhood by a serious form of poliomyelitis that has condemned her to the impossibility of moving.
Although this girl spent her life with her body closed in an artificial plaque and never left the hospital room where this machine was installed, asked by a journalist if she does not sometimes feel "limited," she replied, "The limited "The only limit I admit is the time that does not allow me to take advantage of all the possibilities that my situation offers."
Of course, some of you might say that this is not an exceptional case. There are countless examples in which the human being has demonstrated the ability to successfully deal with seemingly out-of-the-box situations. Quitting an easy rhetoric, which would imply a comparison of the case presented with the many who have part of what they want and yet their life in a constant dissatisfaction, it is good to ask ourselves some questions.
How can it be explained that some people manage to overcome terrible miseries, transforming their apparently condemned resentment into a triumph, of the most diverse, "succeed" in leading their lives towards mediocrity, perhaps disaster?
Why, for somebody, a misfortune, a bankruptcy, a bad luck is the way to inertia and nervous depression, while for some else these are the impulse to self-deception?
Why does the same fete, perhaps the same mean, cause the same different outcome?
Or in other words, what is the "difference that causes the difference" (note: is the question that will be present, in one form or another, in all my articles ...).
Of course, each of us can be confronted with such defiance and usually without "notice".
But apart from, of course, the events of an extreme tragedy, we need to realize that it remains out of service, goes bankrupt, is left by the wife s.a.m.d. are things that are part of life.
Would not it be great if there was a system through which we could prepare to face every situation with the positive spirit and thus obtain a positive result in spite of all the hardships?
Let us remember the words of two important philosophers of antiquity: Epictetus - "People are not affected by difficulties as they are affected by their views on these difficulties" - and Seneca - "Our reaction is what determines the significance of the facts" .
Starting from these assertions, the logical consequence is that the first objective we should be pursuing is to prevent the problems being addressed with a negative mental state.
Of course, this is not to overlook the difficulties, to "hide your head in the sand", but on the contrary, to understand that a negative mental state is the most serious hindrance to finding a happy exit.
For example, if my job was dismantled, it is clear that I have a serious, real problem that needs to be addressed urgently and with determination. But if, because of the complexity of the problem, I become depressed, I underestimate, discuss my abilities, I do not have to confront one problem but many, and it will cause a mental state that will most likely make it impossible for me to access my resources good.
How can we do to prevent negative states from establishing our control over our psyche?
When faced with a problem, most people are tempted to ask questions like: "How does it happen to me?"; "Why am I so unlucky?"; "Is this my fate?" Obviously, whatever the answers to these questions, they can only cause a momentary consolation.
In turn, those who seem to easily overcome any difficulty ask questions with a different structure, such as: "How can I better use what I have to improve the situation?"
Is there a law that the difference between the ways to react to a problem depends on the questions we ask? Is it possible that we are making changes in these questions to make changes in our way of responding?
Yes! Without a doubt! Due to the fact that our opinions about certain facts are directly related to the peculiarities on which we focus, it is obvious that different questions about the same can lead to answers, completely different solutions. For example, a business director is confronted with a supply problem and of course asks: "What can be the solution?" Another director confronted with a similar problem raises another question: "Who is to blame?".
The fact is that these questions immediately change the subject on which we focus and implicitly direct our efforts.
To formulate constructive questions in moments of crisis is a decisive skill for our personal and professional life.
Can this ability be developed by learning? In most cases, an affirmative answer can be given. The secret is the development of a set of "productive" questions that we can use as help at the right time.
Whenever I had the opportunity I asked the successful people I met about the way they face the difficulties. By analyzing these answers, I found that most of the successful people are asking questions that we might call 'typical'.
a) "What can we find positive about this?" Even if the first answer that comes to mind is "nothing!", Any situation has at least one positive aspect. Look for it!
b) What can be improved? This question allows for the isolation of the really important aspects and the focus on their solving. Even the way the question is articulated enhances confidence in a satisfactory solution.
c) "What am I willing to do (or refuse to do) for the situation to evolve in accordance with my wishes?" This assumes in the first place that we already have an idea of ​​how the problem could be solved (if it is not so that we are not facing a problem but just want to complain), and secondly it means accepting that things can not be solved by themselves. Thus, our intellect will "move" in the right direction.
d) "How should I act in order that the efforts needed to improve the situation are not perceived as an obligation, chore, but really to mobilize my interest, becoming perhaps pleasant?" This implies awareness that although confronting a complex problem may require a lot of time and a lot of work, it does not necessarily mean that solving can not be achieved in a pleasant atmosphere. In other words, it is an invitation to intelligent action.
By personally checking the power of these questions a number of times (and I advise you to pass an "exam" from your heart), I thought we did not need to have trouble trying to get in a positive state. I propose that you try to prepare a "success ritual", which will allow you to focus on the issues, the positive aspects of existence, instead of letting the prey of black thoughts.
For a month, try at the beginning of each day to stop drinking the first cup of coffee, and ask the following set of questions.
Ideal is to find at least two, three answers for each and if it does not come to mind, it is good to resort to a "could" type.
1. What would I especially like to do today?
2. What is the point that could make me particularly motivated today?
3. What are the conditions that I can say today are favorable to me?
4. What could I enjoy during this day?
5. What is the main problem I have to solve today?
6. Who appreciates me? Who do I appreciate?
7. Who loves me? Who I love?
In the evening you can repeat these questions to add as a logical consequence and the following queries:
1. What have we offered today to others?
2. What have we learned today?
3. What have we done today to improve my quality of life?
I am not a supporter of optimism at all costs, especially when it is very easy for it to be a pretext to refuse to face life. But I remain convinced that a negative mental state has never helped anyone solve a problem.
Ensuring that in the next issue of the magazine we will try to find an explanation for the fact that our entire society is, apparently, under the influence of a negative thinking system, I can advise you to try to "swim" against the current, using the questions that I have proposed to you.
I'm sure that for most of you, the results will exceed the expectations.

One of the textiles I received from the listeners while I was working on the radio.
Unknown author !?!

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Puterea gandului bun

In orasul meu natal, Genova, am avut norocul de a cunoaste o persoana despre care pot spune ca mi-a marcat pozitiv existenta: o femeie care a condus un program radiofonic de mare succes, a scris o carte care a fost tradusa in peste 30 de tari, a dat zeci de interviuri pentru ziare, reviste si televiziuni din intreaga lume, reusind ca, in acelasi timp, sa fie la dispozitia celor care care aveau nevoie de un cuvint de incurajare, de sprijin.
Este posibil ca si dumneavoastra sa fi auzit de ea, mai ales datorita faptului ca un film despre viata ei a fost transmis in urma cu citeva luni la postul public de televiziune.
Contrar probabil asteptarilor, nu este vorba de o vedeta, ci de Rosanna Benzi, lovita, in copilarie, de o grava forma de poliomelita, care a condamnat-o la imposibilitatea de a se misca.
Desi fata aceasta si-a petrecut viata cu trupul inchis intr-un plamin artificial si nu a parasit niciodata camera de spital in care era instalata aceasta masinarie, intrebata de un ziarist daca nu se simte uneori "limitata", ea a raspuns: "Limitata ? Unica limita pe care o admit este timpul, care nu-mi permite sa profit de toate posibilitatile pe care situatia mea le ofera".
Sigur, unii dintre dumneavoastra ar putea spune ca nu este vorba de un caz de exceptie. Sunt nenumarate exemplele in care fiinta umana a demonstrat capacitatea de a infrunta cu succes situatii aparent fara iesire. Renuntand la o retorica facila, care ar presupune comparatia cazului prezentat cu cei foarte multi,care au parte din ceea ce isi doresc si totusi viata intr-o permanenta nemultumire, este bine sa ne punem anumite intrebari.
Cum se explica faptul ca anumite persoane reusesc sa depaseasca groaznice nenorociri, transformand ezistenta lor aparent condamnata intr-un triumf, dintre cele mai diverse, "izbutesc" sa-si conduca vietile catre mediocritate, poate chiar dezastru?
De ce pentru cineva o nenorocire, un faliment, un ghinion reprezinta calea catre inertie si depresie nervoasa, in timp ce, pentru altcineva, acestea se constituie in impulsul catre autodepasire?
De ce acelasi fept, poate acelasi mijloc, aceeasi situatie determina rezultate atat de diferite?
Sau cu alte cuvinte, care este "diferenta ce determina diferenta" (nota: este intrebarea care va fi prezenta, intr-o forma sau alta, in toate articolele mele...).
Desigur, fiecaruia dintre noi i se poate intampla sa fie confruntat cu o sfidare de genul acesta si, de obicei, fara "preaviz".
Dar exceptand, binenteles, evenimentele de un tragism extrem, trebuie sa constientizam faptul ca a ramane fara serviciu, a da faliment, a fi parasit de sotie s.a.m.d. sunt lucruri care fac parte din viata.
Nu ar fi nemaipomenit daca ar exista un sistem prin care noi sa putem sa ne pregatim pentru a infrunta orice situatie cu spiritul pozitiv si a obtine astfel un rezultat pozitiv in ciuda tuturor greutatilor?
Sa ne amintim de cuvintele a doi importanti filosofi ai antichitatii: Epictetus - "Oamenii nu sunt afectati de dificultati, pe cat sunt afectati de opiniile pe care le au asupra acestor dificultati" - si Seneca - "Reactia noastra este ceea ce determina semnificatia faptelor".
Plecand de la aceste afirmatii, consecinta logica este ca primul obiectiv pe care ar trebui sa-l urmarim este acela de a impiedica posibilitatea ca problemele sa fie abordate cu o stare mentala negativa.
Fireste aceasta nu inseamna a trece cu vederea dificultatile, a "ascunde capul in nisip", ci dimpotriva, inseamna a intelege ca o stare mentala negativ este cea mai serioasa piedica in calea gasirii unei unei iesiri fericite.
De exemplu, daca slujba pe care o aveam a fost desfiintata, este clar ca am o problema grava, reala, care trebuie infruntata urgent si cu decizie. Dar, daca datorita complexitatii problemei devin deprimat, ma subevaluez, pun in discutie capacitatile mele, nu mai am de infruntat o singura problema, ci mai multe, si aceasta va determina o stare psihica ce foarte probabil va face imposibil accesul la resursele mele cele mai bune.
Cum putem proceda pentru a nu permite starilor negative sa isi instaureze controlul asupra psihicului nostru?
Atunci cand se confrunta cu o problema majoritatea oamenilor sunt tentati sa isi puna intrebari de genul: "Cum de mi se intampla tocmai mie?"; "Oare de ce sunt asa de ghinionist?"; "Aceasta sa-mi fie soarta?". Evident, oricare ar fi raspunsurile la aceste intrebari, ele nu pot determina decat cel mult o consolare momentana.
In schimb cei care par a depasi cu usurinta orice dificultate isi pun intrebari cu o structura diferita, de genul: "Cum pot folosi mai bine ceea ce am la dispozitie pentru a imbunatati situatia?".
Sa fie oare o lege ca diferenta intre modurile de a reactiona la ivirea unei probleme depindem de intrebarile pe care ni le punem? Este oare posibil ca operand schimbari in privinta acestor intrebari sa obtinem schimbari si in ceea ce priveste modul nostru de a reactiona?
Da! Fara nici o indoiala! Din cauza faptului ca opiniile pe care ni le formam despre anumite fapte au legatura directa cu particularitatile asupra carora ne concentram, este evident ca intrebari diferite despre acelasi fapt pot determina raspunsuri, solutii complet diferite. Spre exemplu, un director de firma este confruntat cu o problema de aprovizionare si desigur se intreaba: "Care poate fi solutia?". Un alt director confruntat cu o problema similara formuleaza o alta intrebare: "Cine este de vina?".
Fapt este ca aceste intrebari schimba imediat subiectul asupra caruia ne concentram si implicit orientarea eforturilor noastre.
A formula intrebari constructive in momentele de criza reprezinta o abilitate determinanta pentru viata noastra personala si profesionala.
Aceasta abilitate poate fi dezvoltata prin invatare? In majoritatea cazurilor se poate da un raspuns afirmativ. Secretul il reprezinta dezvoltarea unui set de intrebari "productive" pe care sa le folosim ca ajutor la momentul potrivit.
Ori de cate ori am avut ocazia i-am intrebat pe oamenii de succes cu care m-am intalnit despre felul in care ei infrunta dificultatile. Analizand aceste raspunsuri, am descoperit ca in marea lor majoritate oamenii de succes isi pun anumite intrebari pe care le-am putea numi "tipice".
a) "Ce putem gasi pozitiv in aceasta problema?" Chiar daca primul raspuns care va vine in minte este "nimic!", orice situatie are cel putin un aspect pozitiv. Cautati-l!
b) "Ce anume poate fi imbunatatit?" Aceasta intrebare permite izolarea aspectelor cu adevarat importante si concentrarea asupra rezolvarii acestora. Chiar modul in care este articulata intrebarea sporeste increderea intr-o rezolvare satisfacatoare.
c) "Ce anume sunt dispus sa realizez (sau refuz sa realizez) pentru ca situatia sa evolueze in conformitate cu dorintele mele?" Aceasta presupune in primul rand ca avem deja o idee despre cum ar putea fi rezolvata problema (daca nu este asa inseamna ca nu ne aflam in fata unei probleme ci dorim pur si simplu sa ne plangem), iar in al doilea rand semnifica acceptarea faptului ca lucrurile nu se pot rezolva de la sine. Astfel, intelectul nostru se va "pune in miscare " in directia potrivita.
d) "Cum trebuie sa actionez pentru ca eforturile necesare imbunatatirii situatie sa nu fie percepute ca obligatie, corvoada, ci sa-mi mobilizeze cu adevarat interesul, devenind poate chiar placute?" Aceasta implica constientizarea faptului ca, desi infruntarea unei probleme complexe poate cere mult timp si multa munca, asta nu inseamna neaparat ca rezolvarea nu poate fi obtinuta intr-o atmosfera placuta. Cu alte cuvinte, este o invitatie la actiune inteligenta.
Verificand personal de nenumarate ori puterea acestor intrebari (si va sfatuiesc din suflet sa le supuneti si dumneavoastra unui "examen") m-am gandit ca nu este neaparat nevoie sa avem probleme pentru a incerca sa ne instalam intr-o stare pozitiva. Va propun sa incercati pregatirea unui, hai sa-i spunem, "ritual al succesului", care sa va permita concentrarea asupra problemelor, aspectelor pozitive ale existentei, in loc sa va lasati prada gandurilor negre.
Pentru o perioada de o luna incercati ca, la inceputul fiecarei zile, poate inaite de a bea prima ceasca de cafea, sa va adresati urmatorul set de intrebari.
Ideal este sa gasiti cel putin doua, trei raspunsuri pentru fiecare iar daca chiar nu va vine in minte nimic este bine sa recurgeti la o constructie de tipul "ar putea".
1. Ce m-ar interesa in mod special sa realizez astazi?
2. Care este aspectul ce m-ar putea motiva in mod deosebit astazi?
3. Care sunt conditiile despre care astazi pot spune ca imi sunt favorabile?
4. Ce anume m-ar putea bucura in cursul acestei zile?
5. Care este principala problema in rezolvarea careia astazi trebuie sa ma angajez?
6. Cine ma apreciaza? Pe cine apreciez?
7. Cine ma iubeste? Pe cine iubesc?
Seara puteti sa repetati aceste intrebari la care sa adaugati, ca o consecinta logica si interogatiile urmatoare:
1. Ce anume am oferit astazi celorlalti?
2. Ce anume am invatat astazi?
3. Ce am intreprins astazi pentru a-mi imbunatatii calitatea vietii?
Nu sunt un sustinator al optimismului cu orice pret, mai ales atunci cand este foarte usor ca acesta sa fie un pretext pentru a refuza infruntarea vietii. Dar raman convins de faptul ca o stare mentala negativa nu a ajutat niciodata pe nimeni in solutionarea unei probleme.
Asigurandu-va de faptul ca in numarul urmator al revistei vom incerca sa gasim o explicatie pentru faptul ca intreaga noastra societate este, se pare, sub influenta unui sistem de gandire negativ, imi permit sa va sfatuiesc sa incercati a "inota" impotriva curentului, folosind intrebarile pe care vi le-am propus.
Sunt sigur ca, pentru cei mai multi dintre dumneavoastra, rezultatele vor depasi asteptarile.

Unul din textile primit de la ascultatori, pe cand lucram la radio.
Autor necunoscut !?!