Christmas Time

So because it's almost Christmas day I thought I would share some of my feelings towards Christmas and some of my Christmas wishes and new years resolutions, I hope you guys will leave some in the comments as well!!!

At the start of the year, I was very emotional, my emotions were running high and I was all over the place. My stepfather had just walked out on us and my mother was in Hospital with Kidney failure close to death, I suddenly became the parent of my two younger brothers and I had become the adult in the household, I was up at five every morning sending my brothers to school and college, making sure the house was clean and then on a train at 7 am to get to the hospital to visit my mum. Within January I had grown up so much more than I had ever done before, I was cooking, cleaning, food shopping and sorting out things for everyone else and I never had time for myself, I had to take time off college and swap to half days in order to care for everyone.
Once my mother was out of hospital she was put on bedrest, I carried on helping out around the house and even continued to do half days at college, around this time I had met a guy and we'll call him Jim for privacy reasons. Now Jim seemed kind and nice hearted at first, he helped me relax and got me out of the house for a while since I'd been inside for two months only leaving to look after my mum or to go to college.
But things took a nasty turn when Jim began trying to pressure me into things I had no interest in doing, I quickly ended the ''relationship'' (If you can even call it one) and kept that abusive side hidden away from my mum. She was still sick and I didn't want to put any more pressure on her.

In March I turned 20 and mum was back to full health again, I spent my 20th watching videos of famous youtubers and talking to people about said youtubers before going to bed. My stepfather who had raised for 14 years of my life didn't say a single birthday wish to me.

In august my depression I had been fighting for 6 years was finally starting to get the better of me, I had attempted suicide three times in the past and I could feel it getting worse again, I took his moment to write down all of my thoughts and feelings, all the tngs I wish I could tell my mum but couldn't, I wrote them down and left the letter on her bed before going out for a walk, I stayed out until she called a friend of mine to tell him she needed me home, Once I arrived home I was greeted in a crying hug and her repeating that she will always be there for me no matter what. From there we booked Doctors appointments together and went to them, I had been diagnosed with extreme anxiety and depression and put on meds to help.

Telling my mum was the best thing I ever did and I would never have even done it if it wasn't for everyone on Tuetego, especially @smokey2017 they' helped me figure out what I needed to do and so I did it.

My Christmas wish is that everyone can finally tell someone they need help or tell someone what they've been going through.

My New Years resolution are;

- Finish writing a book
-Write more blog posts
-Finally, make more youtube videos
-Be Happy