Losing Your Mother
No one can ever prepare you for losing your mother. I always knew that one day of course I would lose my Mum, but when it actually happened... I wasn't ready. Can you ever be ready? I don't think so. It feels more than just a broken heart. I can't put it into words how I feel, but I can tell you that I am not the same person. I don't feel the same as I did when she was alive, I just feel lost. Like I have lost a limb or something. I was very fortunate that I was holding her hand when she died, and it is something that I shall never ever forget. I did get to say goodbye to her, although she was not respondent, I was still there to say my goodbyes, and agin I feel very fortunate, because some people don't get that chance. Now I have to try and carry on with my life, and at the same time take care of my Dad, as she was the glue that held our family together. My Dad, well he has never had to be apart from her, and never had to deal with anything in the home. He can't cook, and above all else, he is so lonely. That in itself breaks my heart into a million pieces as well. Seeing him so lost, and lonely, it really is heartbreaking. I know people get over these traumatic times, but I don't know how, or how long it takes. I don't know how my Dad is going to be 6 months from now, and I don't know how I am going to be. Everybody is different, and everybody deals with grief in their own way, and in their own time. The next thing we have to get through, is the first time without her in everything, and I know how hard that is going to be.