By ScaryGal
2 years ago

Eating Disorder

.
I have what's known as Bulimia, now if you don't know what that means I'll leave the definition here:
Bulimia nervosa, also known as simply bulimia, is an eating disorder characterized by binge eating followed by purging. Binge eating refers to eating a large amount of food in a short amount of time. Purging refers to the attempts to get rid of the food consumed. This may be done by vomiting or taking laxatives.


My Eating Disorder :
I have an eating disorder. There I said it. Now looking at me you wouldn't think I did have one, I have a belly that pokes out, huge thighs and a big bottom. But there's something people don't know about me and that is that I binge eat and then starve myself. Now I'm not saying I'm for eating disorders lord knows I'm not. I'm actually doing my best to help myself eat. Except it's not as easy as that, people tell me to just eat and not worry but day in and day out I find myself counting the calories of the chicken burger I just ate, counting the calories I can have in a day I never eat more than 750 a day, I like to stay under that and on the weekends I allow 800. But there are days when I never eat if I can help it. I don't know why I have an eating disorder I just know when I'm stressed or upset I binge eat as much as I can before feeling bad about it and making myself vomit or taking laxatives to make it come out one way or another. I count the calories or I stop eating because it's the only thing I feel like I have control over in my life. I count them so I feel better about eating, if I go out to dinner I never eat a full meal I can't. Food physically makes me ill just from the thought and sight of it. There are days when I can't go into my own kitchen. And at first I was really hungry but the more I thought about it the more I realized I didn't need food and food was just something that kept me living. An eating disorder is a form of self-harm, or so I am told and this was how I was/am harming myself. Like I said I am trying to stop and I am trying to eat some days are better than others. Right now I'm on one meal a day and my mum is slowly trying to build that up to a meal and a snack a day.


Many things can cause Bulimia from what I've been reading up on and it's good that I know I have one so that I can move on from it or try and seek help. Stressful transitions can cause the history of abusive, negative body image, poor self-esteem and professions or activities that focus on appearance.
Now for those who have followed me for a while will know I suffer from negative body image and really bad self-esteem issues.I was bullied throughout my whole time at school and at home by my stepfather and brothers.
I am in the middle of seeking help as well as getting help at home. - Leigh
2 years
Lorso Great article
2 years
2 years
Violeta Great article
2 years
2 years
Melsdename Great article
2 years
2 years
soncee Beautiful artikle
2 years
2 years
sabtraversa Okay, I'm crying. I suffered from an eating disorder as well, it was the one in the picture, BED. No vomit or laxes, but I tried with restrictive diets. Uhm, maybe it was not BED nor Bulimia. I got rid of it when I dropped out of school, I was less stressed and could focus on myself. It's good to have time to think of yourself, time to know yourself better and eventually accept who you are. I also lost weight, not in the healthiest way, but I managed to not binge somehow. I really hope you'll find your way. :)

I doubt someone can completely get rid of an eating disorder, your relationship with food tends to remain the same, but if you're alright, you'll be able to prevent the damage. This usually occurs with other mental disorders. Awareness is the key. ;)
2 years
2 years
ScaryGal @sabtraversa Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all, I hope you're okay :)
2 years