By Whispersofasoul
2 years ago

Anxiety

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This is my story. Its not meant to tell people that if you have anxiety, this is how you're suppose to feel. Its not. Anxiety is different for everyone and I'm not claiming to be an expert in this.
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I first developed anxiety when I was around 11 years old. Shortly after my Nan and great-grandfather died. At the time, I had a pretty controlling and manipulative best friend, who I thought could do no wrong. Though it was not all her fault, she was a big part of it. I have always been bullied, ever since I started school, but it didn't bother me as much when I was 6. I was an outgoing and energetic young girl. It was until I started Secondary School, did it really start affecting me. I became anemic and was sick quite often, so I missed school. This was one of the reason I was bullied. I was also bullied for my weight and how I spoke. I had quite a deep voice and the bullied me for it. My 'best-friend' would drop me when she got a new friend. I was the back-up friend. I was her best-friend of convenience. She would take me around horrible people who would bullied me constantly. I wasn't worth enough to her, for her to stick up for me. She just laughed, but I couldn't end the friendship, she would just worm her way back in.
Now I can't go out without someone with me. I am, however, able to speak for myself again. I will continued to get better. Now that all the negative people I knew are out of my life.
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Thank you for reading my short pathetic article but I really don't know what else to right.
2 years
ze2000 I have dealt with people with different levels of it. You will find people that understand the condition and others that just think it's a weakness. You are making progress so that's positive!
2 years
2 years
ChestnutSlippers You will get better, trust me :) I suffered with anxiety all my life too and still do a bit - it is different from yours though, I am afraid of being WITH people, and for a long time I could not be around people, go into public places, or use public transport. Some people will say you need to face your fears head on, but this never worked for me, it gave me panic attacks, two of which I ended up in hospital for. Ease yourself into things gently, and reward yourself every time you take a tiny step forward. If you go to do something, but feel your body and mind telling you "No", Do not go through with it, take smaller steps and try again another day. I plan to write an article about my own anxiety one day, along with some advice for others who suffer with it.
2 years