By ScaryGal
3 years ago

A night Out with Anxiety

Hi guys!!!

Last night (27th January) I did something I NEVER do! I went out! I went to a pub with my mum and a group of her close friends from work. For those who follow me, you'll know why I don't go out, I have severe anxiety and this makes it hard for me to get out but last night I was going to do this! I was going to try and push myself to be comfortable.

The night started off normal, I got ready early because of my anxiety making me feel as if I was going to be late or my taxi might not show and I might need to get another one booked. We arrived at my mum's friends house and we had a drink there waiting for the others to meet us. By now my anxiety is already sky high because I'm alone with people I've never met before, I don't have anything in common with and I don't know how to make small talk, they're all talking to each other about work while I sat playing with my fingers trying to calm myself down.

We arrived at the Pub which is full of people, literally people were everywhere staring and laughing. My anxiety comes with some paranoia so not only am I freaking out over everything in my head and I'm being paranoid about them all laughing at me. I sit down and I start to calm down when we're all just talking but then the night went out...
They all dragged me out to the stage to sing and dance. I ended up having a huge breakdown in the middle of the pub. I was a sobbing mess because everyone is having a good time while my heart is racing and I'm having a huge panic attack. Instead of letting me leave to calm myself down they sit there and drag more attention to me by hugging me and shouting. By now loads of people were staring at me and I couldn't handle it I ran off to the bathroom to be sick from my panic attack.

Tips for going out with Anxiety

Make sure you're comfortable
have a safe word if you're going to have a panic attack
be with friends
take it slow
stay calm
they will understand
you are not what your mental illness makes you think you are

- Leigh