My Brother, My Best Friend...

How do you deal with losing your brother and best friend?? Well, I'm asking because I don't have the answer to that question. My little brother Matt passed away on June 13th due to a freak accident involving a train. He was only 28 years old... gone too soon. He was a very strong happy adventurous person. He was always doing things that hardly anyone else would do. Such as hopping trains and climbing up different things... He lived his life the way he wanted to and didn't care what anyone thought about it. He would walk into a room and light up the darkness. Of course he had a few personal issues but he never let anything get him down. He was always positive and smiling. Honestly, even though he was my little brother, I actually admired him and looked up to him some. I miss him so much... miss his voice and laugh.... I don't really know how to get passed this. I don't talk about it very much,however it's on my mind everyday. I guess I'm pretty good at holding things in. I often wonder if he is ever going to show me a sign that he's here with me... I can feel his presence but I would like a sign from him, I guess just for confirmation. If you have any questions feel free to ask.... So hard to try to let it go, but I understand that everything happens for a reason and when it's the time for it. Still I don't understand why him and as much as I don't show it... it bothers me everyday.
I love and miss you so much Matt.... never forgotten.... RIP baby...❤❤❤???