Atheists cause floods!

When there were serious floods in northern India in 2013, caused by the Saraswati river bursting its banks, it was important for scientists to analyse the facts and see if action could be taken to mitigate the effects of future flooding. They therefore called in experts to give their opinions and included in the witnesses was the regional Minister of Water Resources (this story was covered by the Hindustan Times).

However, despite having access to the most reliable data on rainfall prior to the flooding event, the lady in question preferred a completely different explanation. This was that atheists had been defecating and urinating near the sacred Hindu shrine at Kedarnath.

She wasn’t actually saying that there were so many atheists pissing in the river that they had caused it to flood – which would have taken some doing – but they had angered the gods to such an extent that they had ordered the torrential rains that were the immediate cause of the flood.

According to the minister, relieving oneself near the shrine had been illegal since 1882, but in recent years the area had been visited by hordes of non-believers who cared nothing for the sacred nature of the shrine and did their business anyway.

The minister pointed out that she had been instrumental in reinforcing the ban since the flooding event and that the river had behaved itself ever since. So therefore she must have been right in her analysis all along!